Lesson 3 – WHAT ARE THE NEEDS OF MAN?
All humans have the same needs, but not all humans have the same desires [appetites, drives, passions, wants, cravings.]
Desires [appetites, drives, passions, wants, cravings.] are not needs, but that does not make them bad. They can be good or bad, depending on how we order or use them in our lives.
Good things we enjoy can be used badly when they are prioritized over meeting needs. Examples might be: sports/exercise/gym, shopping “therapy”, gaming, media scrolling, indulgent food/beverages, alcohol, friends/activities imbalance, or work imbalance.
Warning feelings such as shame, guilt, anger, jealousy, fear/anxiey, sadness/grief are good when they invite us to pause, honestly evaluate, connect, and communicate.
When those warning feelings compell us to negative behaviors such as lying, hiding, minimizing, threatening, isolation, silence, secrecy, or physical violence; or if your spouse or intimate partner attempts to “allow” or “not allow”, or attempts to enforce secrecy or isolation, or causes you to fear physical, mental, emotional, or financial consequenses, it is important that you SEEK TRUSTED HELP IMMEDIATELY.
Church trusted elder couple, support group leader, counselor, or me.
Furthermore, I recommend that you establish these relationships in advance – right now – before you actually need them. Join a small group at your church, or invite yourselves over to have dinner with an older couple that you admire. Invite yourselves into their lives at least a handful of times per year. Women need tea parties, and men need tee times – whatever that looks like to you. Make it happen.
